Why do our best intentions so often backfire in communication? You enter a meeting with a positive goal, yet leave colleagues feeling micromanaged, disempowered, or completely misunderstood.
In this episode from the archive, Andy Lopata has a conversation with leadership coach and author Catherine Stothart (How to Get On with Anyone). Catherine breaks down why personality models shouldn't be used for clumsy conversational tricks, but to bridge the "influence gap" between our intentions and our actual impact.
From the everyday friction between "Directing" and "Informing" communication habits to the four core interaction styles—Mobiliser, Energiser, Navigator, and Synthesiser—Catherine reveals how teams at companies like Airbus and Google navigate interpersonal differences. Discover how understanding your instinctive behavioural drivers can immediately reduce workplace tension, prevent unnecessary conflict, and build deeper, more authentic professional relationships.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
The Influence Gap: Why positive intentions often lead to negative reactions, and how to consciously align your impact with your intent.
Directing vs. Informing: The subtle phrasing difference in how you ask questions that makes others feel either clear or manipulated.
The 4 Interaction Archetypes: How Mobilisers, Energisers, Navigators, and Synthesisers operate—and why putting them in a room together without self-awareness causes instant friction.
Actionable Insights:
Identify and Flex Your Communication Style (Directing vs. Informing): Recognise whether you instinctively give instructions directly ("Please have this done by 2:00") or provide context hoping others take the hint ("How long will that task take you?"). When speaking to direct communicators, be clear and explicit; when speaking to informing communicators, provide information and allow them the autonomy to determine their action.
Set Clear Check-In Agreements When Delegating: If you have an action-oriented "Mobiliser" drive, resist the urge to chase people down 30 minutes after assigning a task. Agree on a specific completion time or update milestones upfront, and do not follow up until that agreed-upon moment arrives.
Design Meetings for Multiple Processing Styles: Recognise that extroverted styles (Mobilisers/Energisers) want to talk through ideas immediately, while introverted styles (Navigators/Synthesisers) need space to analyse data and consult. Send agendas in advance to give reflective thinkers time to process, ensuring you get the best contributions from the whole team.
SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE
Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube
Connect with Catherine Stothart: Website |LinkedIn |
Episode 187 Featuring Catherine Storthart
