00:00:00 – Trump's mystery national address 00:03:15 – Alex Jones clips of the week 00:11:16 – Billionaires prepare for "the Event" 00:21:08 – Rogue AI versus Project Blue Beam 00:25:56 – The 2027 UFO deadline 00:35:39 – Brazil's Roswell resurfaces 00:43:00 – The threat of red-eyed aliens 00:51:35 – Dr. Phil embraces UFO disclosure 00:56:32 – The Tippy Top club remix 01:00:40 – Russian warlocks exploit the fuel crisis 01:05:19 – Magic fuel pills promise better mileage 01:10:17 – Russia's rent-a-barbecue companions 01:23:21 – National Hot Dog Day 01:28:10 – Caddyshack II anniversary plans 01:33:11 – Mick Jagger rejects concert politics 01:42:26 – Florida's "Squeeze Ass" license plate 01:47:09 – An Ohio family films Bigfoot 01:55:41 – Tokyo workers trade suits for shorts 02:00:21 – Letterman cuts pants into shorts 02:03:25 – Weekend plans and The Odyssey 02:06:30 – Final sign-off and outro song
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