6 steps on how to have better conflict
1. Realize you can’t be right with God when you’re wrong with your brother
1 John 4:19-21 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not
love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (NIV)
1 Peter 3:7 Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. (NLT)
Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against
you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. (NIV)
2. Remember things are always more spiritual than they seem
Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (NIV)
3. Work on your part before you try to fix theirs
Proverbs 21:2 All a man’s ways seem right in his own eyes. (TLV)
James 4:1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they
come from your desires that battle within you? (NIV)
4. Discover and value the other person’s perspective
Romans 15:1-7 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2 Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. 3 For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” [ a ] 4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. 5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, 6 so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (NIV)
James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (NIV)
5. Speak the truth in love
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (NIV)
Proverbs 12:18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (NIV)
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)
6. Control what you can control
A. Work on you before trying to fix them
Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (NIV)
James 3:18 You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. (MSG)
B. Be quick to forgive
Ephesians 4:32 Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. (MSG)
1 Peter 2:23 He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who
always judges fairly. (NLT)
C. Pray for God to help them
Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. (NLT)
