In this episode, I break down what it can actually mean to be both. Asexuality doesn’t necessarily mean having no arousal, no fantasies, or no sexual life. For some people, arousal may show up more through fantasy or solo sexuality, without the same drive to direct that sexual energy toward another person.
We’ll also explore why someone can still clearly experience their sexuality as gay: their fantasies, romantic attraction, intimacy, and erotic world may still be centered around men.
I also talk about the confusion that can come from trying to understand yourself in a gay culture where sex can feel central—and how to distinguish asexuality from low libido, anxiety, or simply avoiding sex you actually want.
If you’ve ever wondered why you feel gay but don’t relate to the way other gay men describe sexual attraction, this episode may help you make more sense of your experience.
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