Timm Chiusano, who's been married 21 years, explains why the instinct to protect your relationship, building a safe little room around it and shutting the doors, might be the exact thing slowly killing it, what a cat that wandered through his Brooklyn house had to do with it, and the quiet moment his wife told him he was wrong that changed everything. What makes love last, he's decided, has nothing to do with how safe you keep it.
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