Why do conversations about fathers bring up so much emotion, shame, and defensiveness, especially for men?
In this episode of This Triggers Me, Dr Audra Horney (a therapist for men) and Dr. Brendan K. Hartman (a sociologist who researches the emotional well being of boys) unpack the complicated role fathers play in shaping men’s mental health, identity and emotional development.
From father wounds to modern parenting expectations, they explore why dads are often seen as either sacred or suspect and how both extremes miss the nuance. This conversation dives into generational shifts in fatherhood, emotional connection, shame, repair and the impact fathers have on boys and men’s wellbeing.
Key takeaways:
Why fathers are such a triggering topic in conversations about masculinity and men’s mental health
The tension between over praising dads for “bare minimum” parenting while also under crediting involved fathers
How modern fatherhood has shifted across generations
Common father wounds and why many men struggle to honestly reflect on their relationship with their dad
The impact of emotional connection (or lack of it) on boys’ emotional development and men’s wellbeing
Different father archetypes: the tyrant, the absent/workaholic father, and the teacher
Why repair after mistakes matters more than perfection in parenting
Research on fatherhood, bonding, hormones and paternity leave
The loneliness and isolation many involved fathers experience
Why men in caregiving roles are often treated with suspicion
How therapy for men can help unpack shame, resentment, grief and emotional patterns tied to fatherhood
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