Gabby Bate spent six years at home raising four children, including identical twin boys. Then she and her husband made a decision that completely flipped the traditional family dynamic: Gabby returned to work full-time, while her husband Cam became the stay-at-home dad.
In this episode, Gabby joins us to share the story behind their role reversal — and what it has really looked like to challenge the expectations still placed on mums and dads when it comes to work, parenting and who carries the load at home.
But Gabby’s journey with twins began years earlier with an incredibly complicated pregnancy. After an early rollercoaster of being told there were two babies, then one, then potentially no viable pregnancy, Gabby eventually discovered she was carrying two healthy identical twins. At 20 weeks, the pregnancy became complicated by twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS), before the boys were delivered at 30 weeks and admitted to NICU.
One twin was transferred to another hospital with a heart condition, meaning Gabby didn't meet him until he was five days old.
Then, when the twins were just three months old, Gabby unexpectedly fell pregnant with her fourth child.
We follow Gabby’s story from those intense early years of motherhood to the decision, six years later, that she wanted her career back — and the family restructure that followed.
We chat about:
- Finding out she was having identical twins — after initially being told otherwise
- Falling pregnant again when her twins were just three months old
- Spending six years as a stay-at-home mum before returning to work
- Why Gabby became the primary breadwinner and Cam became a stay-at-home dad
- Challenging traditional gender roles around work and parenting
- Career identity, mum guilt, finances, resentment and the mental load
- What both parents learned after experiencing life as the primary caregiver
- Raising identical twins as individuals rather than constantly comparing them
It’s an honest conversation about what happens when a family stops asking who should stay home and who should work — and starts asking what actually works for them.
Follow along for the raw, unfiltered reality of raising multiples.
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