Jeremy Clarkson’s blunt take: farming is financially suicidal these days, so he left 200 acres unplanted this year — pure loss. Blaming the government and mocking current rural minister Angela Eagle (comparing her to Alan Carr running the Army), he’s calling for urgent help. But don’t let the drama fool you — Eagle’s got real food security experience. Meanwhile, Clarkson’s cancer diagnosis (aggressive, but caught early) is now in remission — and he’s still out there filming Clarkson’s Farm, proving the show’s not going anywhere.

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