Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!
What happens when love, manipulation, control, and confusion all exist in the same relationship?
In this deeply validating episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down with counselor and criminologist Shalina Lodhia to unpack the hidden realities of narcissism, coercive control, intergenerational trauma, and emotional abuse. Together, they explore how subtle manipulation slowly erodes self-trust, why survivors often blame themselves, and how the body keeps score long after the abuse begins.
Shalina shares how her own lived experience witnessing domestic violence and coercive control in her South Asian community led her into counseling and advocacy work. The conversation dives into trauma bonds, gaslighting, narcissistic family systems, emotional invalidation, and the exhausting cognitive dissonance survivors experience when kindness and cruelty coexist in the same relationship.
This episode also explores:
- The connection between narcissism and coercive control
- Why survivors constantly question themselves
- The subtle signs of emotional abuse most people miss
- How trauma shows up physically in the body
- Why self-blame becomes a survival mechanism
- The difference between healthy conflict and manipulation
- The long-term effects of chronic emotional stress
- Why narcissists rarely seek therapy
- How to begin rebuilding self-trust after abuse
- The importance of journaling and external anchors
- Why healing starts with internal validation
We discuss cultural silence around abuse in Filipino, South Asian, and immigrant communities, and why these conversations are critical for breaking intergenerational cycles.
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering:
“Is it me?”
“Am I overreacting?”
“Why do I feel anxious all the time around this person?”
This episode is for you.
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https://tr.ee/SxQNVoVxt9 - Free Guide: Narcissism & Coercive Control
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