An atheist’s spiritual awakening can look a lot less like peace and a lot more like panic, grief, and everything falling apart first. Becca Metzler shares the five-year journey that took her from a Catholic childhood and 20 years of atheism to a radically new relationship with God, angels, prayer, and healing. What begins with a devastating family tragedy eventually becomes the crack that changes everything. Becca opens up about the fear that shaped her worldview, years on antidepressants, the “midlife crisis” that was actually the beginning of a spiritual awakening, and the near-death experience research that first made her question what she believed was possible. She also shares her experience with ayahuasca, the message she received about the root of her depression, the difficult nervous system crash that followed, and why integration became more important than the ceremony itself.
Through medication, therapy, acupuncture, prayer, and a growing willingness to surrender, Becca slowly began rebuilding her life and relationship with herself. She shares the powerful moment she felt Jesus meet her in her car and release years of shame, how her awakening transformed her relationship with her son, and what faith actually looks like when you’re still in survival mode. This conversation goes far beyond simply “believing in God” and explores spiritual awakening, depression, near-death experiences, healing, surrender, and what can happen when everything you thought you knew about life begins to change. If you’re in a dark season, questioning what you believe, or wondering whether transformation is possible after years of fear and disconnection, Becca’s story offers a powerful reminder of what can exist on the other side.
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Connect with Becca:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeccaMetzler
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