S1 E 43 – Unraveling Ashley Ashley grew up in what she describes as a hurricane—an unpredictable childhood shaped by physical and emotional abuse, fear, and the constant need to stay small and safe. As an adult, therapy helped her recognize just how unhealthy the family system had been, and she eventually made the difficult decision to cut contact and build a life that felt completely different from the one she had known. Years later, while struggling with infertility, friends pointed out something Ashley had long noticed but never seriously questioned: she did not look like her family.
Show Notes
Kara and Ashley touch on:
- Growing up in an abusive and volatile home and learning to hide her needs
- Therapy, boundaries, and deciding to cut contact with her family
- Infertility, pregnancy loss, and becoming a mother
- Learning that many knew the truth except for her
- Moving slowly through reunion and allowing a new relationship to develop
- Becoming a mother and seeing her own childhood through a different lens
- What it feels like when someone simply keeps showing up
Ashley’s story holds two very different kinds of family disruption: the family she had to step away from in order to protect herself, and the family connection she never knew was possible.
Her experience is a reminder that discovering the truth does not always make life easier—but sometimes, amid the grief and disorientation, it can also bring something unexpectedly good.
(Content warning: This episode contains discussion of childhood physical and emotional abuse, suicide, and pregnancy loss.)
Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.
At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.
For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.
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