Barnaby Joyce’s dog ownership is sparking a national frenzy—real, imaginary, or tied up before interviews, folks are offering to interview it just to settle the debate. Meanwhile, Band-Aid packaging is causing one-handed sufferers to declare it a “bloody operation,” while lawyers travel abroad to courtrooms, decoding advocacy through non-verbal cues. A childhood memory of porcupine meatballs resurfaces during a chicken shortage, and someone’s comparing Australia’s World Cup win over Turkey to a historical reversal—this time, the Turks couldn’t break through the defense.

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