Selfish Parenting
Avsnitt

14. Unpacking Church Trauma & Refusing to Raise my Daughters in Shame

Selfish Parenting
Dela

I grew up in the church. I prayed, I read my Bible, I believed God was the reason my family survived some of the hardest things we ever went through. Faith grounded me, especially as a refugee kid trying to make sense of losing everything and starting over. But I also grew up hearing that my body was a problem, that my value lived in my virginity, that motherhood was my highest calling, and that men’s comfort mattered more than women’s safety. In this episode, I’m talking about Christianity, modesty culture, Mormonism, Congolese churches, motherhood, and the part of faith that still feels confusing for me. I still pray. I still believe in God. I still find comfort in parts of the Bible. I also know I cannot raise my daughters inside the same shame, fear, and patriarchy that made me question my own body, my own freedom, and my own worth. This is where I am right now: grieving the church community I loved, questioning what I was taught, and choosing to teach my children about religion without handing them the trauma that came with mine.

Research mentioned:

In this episode, we cover:

  • Why I stopped searching for a home church after spending years trying to find one that felt safe
  • How modesty culture taught me to carry shame for a body I was still learning how to live in
  • What Mormonism showed me about women doing the work while men held the power
  • Why having daughters made me question which parts of church I was willing to pass down
  • The grief I still feel for the community, care, and village that church gave me
  • How I’m teaching my children about religion without making fear the foundation
  • Why so many of us are questioning Christianity and realizing patriarchy was sitting right there with it
  • What it feels like to still pray, still believe, and still not know where church fits in my life anymore

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.

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