Episode 015 - The Therapist's Case Formulation

We started this conversation off the mic and realized we should have been recording, so this episode picks up mid-conversation.

Everyone has a case formulation, including the therapist. We cover why it's so much easier to see someone else's patterns than our own, why therapists need their own therapy and trusted colleagues, and the irony of helping patients change while being unable to change our own families. We discuss why deep change takes time, how diagnosis and formulation serve different purposes, why estrangement rarely frees us from the attachment figures in our heads, and what it means to love differently rather than stop loving. They also share some of their own origin stories as clinicians and name the "fixer" pattern many therapists will recognize.

Have a topic you'd like us to cover? Email us at podcast@irtinstitute.com

Chapters 00:00 Cold open: picking up mid-conversation 02:00 Therapists are people too 04:30 Blind spots need mirrors 07:00 You can't be your family's therapist 08:30 Why real change takes time 12:00 Diagnosis vs. formulation 15:30 Attachment figures live inside us (and why estrangement doesn't work) 17:00 Loving differently, not loving less 20:30 Copy process vs. love, and seeing caregivers as human 23:00 Grief and leaving red 25:00 Passing the baton forward 26:00 The therapist fixer trap 28:00 Choosing with awareness: a lesson from Lorna Benjamin 30:00 Our origin stories as therapists 33:00 Universal through-lines beneath the DSM 36:00 Listener requests: anger, partnering, and parenting 38:30 Wrap-up

Disclaimer Note: The Loving Differently Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content discussed in each episode is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist–client relationship with either of the hosts. If you are experiencing psychological distress, relationship difficulties, or a mental health emergency, please seek support from a licensed mental health provider in your area or contact your local emergency services.