In this episode of Trauma Informed Conversations, host Jessica Parker is joined by adoptive parent, former social worker, foster carer, and author Sarah Naish. Drawing on over 40 years of lived and professional experience across social care and education, Sarah explores the transformative question: What if behaviour makes perfect sense?
Jess and Sarah discuss how shifting to a trauma lens allows us to look beyond surface-level reactions and understand that all trauma-based behaviour is an expression of an underlying, unmet need. From practical strategies like "naming the need" to addressing systemic gaps in social work, school, and inspection frameworks (like Ofsted), this conversation provides a realistic, deeply compassionate roadmap for supporting care-experienced children, families, and the professionals who care for them.
Key Takeaways
- Looking Behind the Behaviour: Understanding that challenging actions are not personal attacks ("doing this to me"), but rather a child's attempt to communicate inner distress and seek safety or nurture.
- The "Gift of Why" & Naming the Need: Why asking children "Why did you do that?" is unhelpful, and how adults can step in to gently name the underlying fear or unmet need for them.
- Decoding Hurtful Statements: Viewing painful phrases (like "I hate you") as a discharge of internal pain rather than calculated malice, allowing caregivers to respond with empathy instead of defense.
- Systemic & Training Gaps: Addressing the urgent need for trauma-informed training top-down—from universities to social work teams and Ofsted inspectors—to prevent burnout and protect placement stability.
- Reframing Professional Language: Why shifting away from clinical jargon (e.g., replacing "dysregulated" with "terrified" or "placement" with "home") helps adults stay connected to the stark reality of childhood trauma.
Guest
Sarah Naish is an international best-selling author, keynote speaker, and CEO of the Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma (CoECT). Bringing over 40 years of lived and professional experience to her work, Sarah's background spans across social work, nursery nursing, fostering over 40 children, and adopting a sibling group of five.
Recognised as a trailblazer in therapeutic parenting, she is the founder of the National Association of Therapeutic Parents (NATP) and founder/director of two trauma-informed fostering agencies in England and Wales (TRUE Fostering and SAfER Fostering). Sarah has authored numerous sector-defining books—including the No. 1 bestseller The A–Z of Therapeutic Parenting—and works continuously to reform foster care assessments, kinship support tools, and trauma training across education and social care systems globally.
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
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