How do you help an anxious child build real confidence instead of just managing their fear?
What if the very thing keeping your kid unsafe is how hard you're working to protect them?
Sissy Goff and David Thomas are two of the most trusted voices in child and adolescent mental health today, counselors at Daystar Counseling Ministries and hosts of the popular Raising Boys and Girls podcast. With more than three decades combined sitting across from kids and their families, they've become go-to resources for parents navigating anxiety, emotional development, and resilience in childhood. Their new New York Times Bestselling book, Capable, just carried them through a national press tour, including a stop on the Today Show, and for good reason: it takes on one of the most urgent questions facing parents right now.
In this conversation, Sissy, David, and Miles unpack why so many kids today aren't just anxious; they're increasingly unwilling to try, and what parents can actually do to build resilience instead of just managing symptoms. They talk through the difference between attunement and over-protection, why "trust your gut" might be the most important piece of parenting advice out there, and how to set healthy boundaries around technology and social media without shutting your kids out of the world they're growing up in. It's a grounded, hopeful conversation about childhood anxiety, parenting under pressure, and what it actually takes to raise capable, confident kids in an overwhelmed world.
Your kids are watching you more closely than they're listening to you. Onsite's Living Centered Program is a place for parents ready to do their own work, so the patterns they pass down are worth passing on. Learn more at experienceonsite.com.
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For more resources and tools from Sissy Goff & David Thomas, visit raisingboysandgirls.com or follow along on Instagram @raisingboysandgirls.
In this conversation, you'll learn:
- How to Tell Attunement From Rescuing Your Kid
- How to Read the Emergency Behind Their Anxiety
- How to Stop Outsourcing Instincts to Strangers Online
- How to Decide When They Get a Phone or Social Account
- How to Turn a Hard No Into a Creative Yes
- How to Use "Trust the Process" in Their Hardest Stretch
- How to Spot a Problem They Should Solve Themselves
- How to Rebuild Your Resilience Before Teaching It
- How to Hold Grief and Purpose at the Same Time
- How to Give Your Kids a Front-Row Seat to Your Growth
- How to Raise a Capable Kid Without Raising an Anxious One
- How to Pick Two Parenting Voices You Actually Trust
What We Discuss:
00:00:00 – Meet Sissy Goff and David Thomas
00:04:21 – Over-Correction: the Field's New Blind Spot
00:05:35 – Catching Up & Life After the Capable Press Tour
00:08:31 – The Soap Opera Character & Camp Job that Shaped Careers
00:14:02 – A Working 32-Year Partnership
00:17:09 – Sissy’s Dog Who Came to Work & Comforted Teen's Tears
00:20:20 – Sammy, Onsite’s Beagle Who Escorted Every New Guest
00:30:15 – Backstage at the Today Show
00:36:58 – What This Work Taught Them About Being Human
00:41:55 – A National State of Emergency Hiding in Plain Sight
00:49:32 – Escape and Avoidance Feel Like Good Parenting
00:53:29 – What Attunement Actually Looks Like
00:59:25 – “Go in the Strength You Already Have”
01:03:22 – What's Really Underneath a Lack of Confidence
01:10:56 – Trust the Process, Even in Their Hardest Stretch
01:18:25 – Is my child ready for technology?
01:26:18 – Doing Your Own Work Is the Greatest Gift to Your Kids
01:27:16 – A Look Inside Daystar Counseling Ministries
