If you have ever wondered:
“How do I stop identifying with the scared version of myself?”
“Why does my inner critic get louder when I am tired, overwhelmed or out of my depth?”
“How do I stop comparing myself to others and become the person I actually want to be?”
This episode is for you.
This week, Tess and Layne answer questions from the AWAKE community about fear, identity, comparison and the relentless voice of the “itty-bitty shitty committee”.
They explore what happens when the identities you have built your life around suddenly disappear, whether that is a career, a business, success, appearance or the role you believed you had to play. Tess shares how losing her corporate identity forced her to intentionally rebuild her life, health and sense of self, while Layne reflects on becoming a world champion and learning not to let success, fear or other people’s labels define her.
The conversation then turns to negative self-talk and comparison, with Layne revealing the sexism, unequal prize money and resistance she faced while fighting to transform women’s surfing. Her story is a reminder that purpose can carry you through moments when confidence disappears, progress feels painfully slow and the change you are working towards may not arrive for years.
This is a conversation about giving fear a voice without handing it the steering wheel, choosing your identity with intention and moving from “I have to” to “I get to” to “I am”.
You will hear about:
Why fear becomes louder when you are depleted, overwhelmed or feeling unsafe
How to recognise the difference between who you are and the labels other people have placed on you
Tess’s experience of losing her corporate identity and intentionally creating a new one
Using Elizabeth Gilbert’s letter-writing exercise to understand and respond to fear
How comparison creates fragile confidence and keeps you focused outside yourself
The sexism, pay inequality and resistance Layne faced while fighting for the future of women’s surfing
The “I have to, I get to, I am” framework for reconnecting with purpose
Why your inner critic may never disappear completely, and how to stop identifying with it
How compassion, curiosity and play can soften fear and help you choose what love would do next
Links text
Join the Awake Collective Community for monthly masterclasses
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Get Awake's transformative book: Know Yourself Grow Yourself to live a happier, more purposeful life.
https://www.penguin.com.au/books/awake-academy-9781761345869
Follow Layne on Instagram @Laynebeachley
Follow Tess on Instagram @tesscbrouwer
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Mentioned in this episode:
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
Disclaimer
The A Wake Up Call podcast is created for general informational, educational and inspirational purposes only. The stories, tools and insights shared are designed to support your wellbeing journey, not to replace professional medical, psychological or therapeutic advice. In fact, we believe therapy is non-negotiable in life.
If you are experiencing a medical or mental health condition, please seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional. Never ignore or delay seeking professional advice because of something you have heard on this podcast.
Your wellbeing matters. Take care of yourself, stay curious and remember the real wake-up call is listening to what your body and mind are trying to tell you.
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