S3E7 (1-3y): Tantrums and behaviour – what’s really going on?

Challenging toddler behaviours - or important steps in social and emotional development? Sure toddler ‘tantrums’ or ‘defiance’ can be tough to handle, but there’s always something underneath. In this episode, Jen and Hannah are joined by Helen, who has a degree in psychology and counselling and runs parenting workshops across the community to talk about social and emotional development in toddlers and the big changes that come with it.Helen explains why the toddler years bring such a huge range of emotions, how the parts of the brain that help us calm down and think rationally aren't fully developed until around five years old, and what this means for parents, including the role of co-regulation and lending your toddler your calm while they build these skills over time.Together the team unpack naming emotions to tame them and the gradual development of theory of mind that lays the groundwork for sharing and empathy, and why separation anxiety and parental preference are a completely normal part of development.From what a tantrum really is and how to handle one in the middle of the supermarket, to separating the emotion from the behaviour, giving toddlers real choices, and noticing your own nervous system in the heat of the moment, Jen, Hannah and Helen cover it all with warmth and honesty, and a reminder that good enough is good enough, and that connection is almost always the answer.Is this episode for you? This episode is perfect for parents with a baby aged 12 months –3 years who want to have a clearer understanding on their child's behaviour. 📞 Need more help? For those in Western Australia, you can call the Ngala Parenting Line on 08 9368 9368 for free expert support from our team.Follow the Podcast:Subscribe: 🔗 https://www.youtube.com/@UCctvj5LUZ1eAzSErNAmAvxA Website: 🔗 https://www.ngala.com.au/Timecodes:(00:00) Introduction: it's never just a behaviour(01:15) Helen introduces herself and her work with parents(01:35) What social and emotional development looks like in toddlers(02:35) Talking about emotions and naming them to tame them(04:05) Social interaction, parallel play, sharing and theory of mind(06:45) Separation anxiety and parental preference(10:30) What a tantrum actually is and how to handle one in public(11:50) Separating the emotion from the behaviour(12:00) What's underneath a tantrum: the developing toddler brain(13:30) Pushing boundaries as a developmentally promising sign(15:45) Performative parenting and giving toddlers real choices(17:40) Strategies for big feelings: co-regulation and your own nervous system(19:35) All emotions are safe: modelling and re-parenting ourselves(21:45) Distraction, redirection and getting anger out physically(26:50) Connection, humour and why we are their best toyFollow Ngala 🌐Instagram 🔗https://www.instagram.com/ngala.official/Facebook 🔗https://www.facebook.com/Ngala.Official/LinkedIn 🔗 https://www.linkedin.com/company/ngala/?originalSubdomain=auProduced by Podwave Studios: https://podwavestudios.au/🔔 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe.Music from #Uppbeat⁠https://uppbeat.io/t/sky-toes/the-summit⁠License code: FTQLZK6PIYUYDCXK#parenting #parentingtips #toddlers #ngala #perthparents #parents #podcast