42. I Wanted My Roommate's Diet to Fail: and other stories I was too ashamed to tell anyone.

In this episode of Full But Not Satisfied, Stefanie shares four hidden behaviors from her 25 years with disordered eating and an eating disorder — things she assumed were evidence of bad character, but were actually nervous system threat responses. From neglecting hygiene and hoping for a hospital stay, to feeling jealous of other people's diets, to stealing and lying about food, these are the parts of eating disorder recovery that rarely get talked about.

Using nervous system regulation, polyvagal theory, and parts work, Stefanie unpacks why these behaviors happen — and why shame, not the behavior itself, is often the thing that keeps people stuck. This episode is for anyone in eating disorder recovery, disordered eating recovery, or body image healing who has ever done something they didn't want to admit out loud.

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Topics covered: eating disorder recovery, disordered eating behaviors, binge eating shame, nervous system regulation, polyvagal theory, parts work, body image healing, jealousy in eating disorder recovery, food and shame.