England’s in a full-blown drought, with 46 days without rain turning lawns, celebrity estates, and farmland into dusty brown wastelands. Hosepipe bans cover eight water companies, wildfire risks soar, and even mega-rich homes like the Clooneys’ and Beckham’s are parched—except for artificial turf and a few stubborn trees. Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi’s UK farmhouse stands out as a lush oasis, baffling experts after their past flooding woes and Ellen’s self-deprecating lawn jokes. Farmers brace for a devastating harvest, heat has claimed lives, and forecasters warn recovery hinges on autumn rains. This isn’t an isolated crisis—it’s part of a worsening pattern of extreme heat and dryness reshaping the UK’s landscape and livelihoods.
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