What happens when you've spent so many years staying silent that you begin to lose yourself?
In this powerful encore episode of Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce, Deborah revisits one of the show's most resonant conversations with author and longtime educator Barb Rebon, whose memoir The Heartbeat of My Silence explores trauma, identity, secrecy, self-discovery, and the courage it takes to finally speak your truth.
Barb's story begins long before she found the words to tell it.
After experiencing abuse as a teenager, she entered the convent at just 16 years old. Her journey would eventually include motherhood, a 26-year career as an educator, years of keeping important pieces of herself hidden, and ultimately the decision to stop living in silence.
This isn't simply a conversation about what happened to Barb.
It's a conversation about what can happen to all of us when we silence ourselves for too long.
Whether that silence comes from trauma, marriage, divorce, family expectations, fear, shame, people-pleasing, or simply trying to become the person everyone else expects us to be, the result can be the same:
We lose touch with our own voice.
And sometimes, we lose ourselves along with it.
In This Episode, You'll Hear About:
- How childhood and teenage trauma can shape identity for decades
- Why Barb entered the convent at just 16 years old
- The difference between keeping something private and living in silence
- How fear and expectations can cause us to hide parts of ourselves
- What happens when you've spent years living according to other people's expectations
- Barb's journey toward understanding and accepting herself
- Why telling our stories can be an important part of healing
- The courage required to finally speak your truth
- How to begin reclaiming your identity after years of feeling lost
- Why it is never too late to find your voice and start writing your next chapter
Are You Lost—or Have You Just Been Silent for Too Long?
One of the most powerful lessons in Barb's story is that losing yourself doesn't always happen all at once.
Sometimes it happens quietly.
One compromise. One unspoken truth. One swallowed feeling at a time.
You become the wife. The mother. The caretaker. The professional. The peacekeeper. The person everyone can depend on.
Until one day you realize you aren't sure where you went.
That's why this conversation is worth hearing again.
Because healing isn't only about moving beyond what happened to you. It's also about rediscovering the person underneath everything you've learned to hide.
You are allowed to have a voice.
You are allowed to change.
You are allowed to tell your story when you're ready.
And you are allowed to decide that the next chapter of your life will sound different from the chapters that came before it.
About Barb Rebon
Barb Rebon is an author and retired educator whose memoir, The Heartbeat of My Silence, shares her deeply personal journey through trauma, identity, secrecy, self-discovery, and ultimately finding the courage to live more authentically.
About Bent Not Broken: Life After Divorce
Bent Not Broken explores what happens after the life you thought you were going to have changes. Through honest conversations about divorce, emotional abuse, relationships, identity, healing, confidence, starting over, and personal transformation, Deborah and her guests explore how women can rebuild their lives, reclaim who they are, and write their next chapter.
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Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.
