In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Deb Miller, a licensed professional counselor with over 30 years of experience, to explore one of the most difficult — and misunderstood — relationship ruptures: infidelity.
Dr. Miller, author of More Than Sorry: Five Steps to Deepen Your Apology After You’ve Committed Infidelity, shares a grounded, compassionate framework for repairing trust after betrayal — one that goes far beyond simply saying “I’m sorry.”
We discuss why affair recovery often fails when the focus stays only on the wounded partner, and why real repair requires humility, empathy, self-reflection, and sustained behavioral change from the partner who violated trust.
Topics include:
What actually defines infidelity (and what doesn’t)
Why secrecy, not sex, is the deepest betrayal
How to give an apology that restores dignity and safety
Why “I don’t know why” is honest — but not enough
The role of dopamine, validation, boredom, and unmet needs
How attachment styles and self-sabotage influence affairs
Why trust is rarely restored to 100% — and why that’s okay
How to rebuild connection without retraumatizing
Online affairs, porn, and modern boundary confusion
When and how to disclose past infidelity when dating again
The difference between being a bad person and doing harm
Why self-forgiveness is essential to becoming trustworthy again
This episode is essential listening for anyone navigating betrayal, rebuilding trust, dating after infidelity, or wanting a more honest and emotionally mature relationship.
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