More Rules Won’t Win Back Your Son (But This Will) w/ Alvaro de Vicente

Alvaro de Vicente has led the Heights School, a Catholic school for boys in Maryland, since 2002. He joins Jason Craig to explain why a boy hitting puberty starts asking whether following his father will make him part of the community or get him rejected by it, and why the other men in his life matter so much at that moment.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• Why education is the transfer of a culture, not just facts and skills
• How hiring teachers who believe in the mission does most of a headmaster’s work
• Why a boy needs to hear other men say what his father says
• Why families should host one another before the house is clean and the dinner is perfect, and how those friendships let fathers correct one another
• Why a son who knows he can come to you without being punished has less reason to lie

Resources Mentioned:

• Fraternus
• Men in the Making, Alvaro de Vicente
• The Heights Forum
• HeightsCast
• The Heights School

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Chapters:

• 00:00: Talking with men in the arena, not influencers
• 01:58: Educating a boy vs. making a man
• 07:01: How a school builds a real community
• 15:17: Why boys have lost the vision of manhood
• 20:15: When a boy asks if his dad is a typical man
• 27:35: False rites of passage and buying a peer group
• 33:34: The ministry of the imperfect dinner
• 41:13: Preparing sons for sin without exposing them to it
• 45:58: Letting your son come to you without punishment
• 52:14: Cinderella Man and fatherly authority

Produced by Saint Kolbe Studios