What if your body knows more about your relationships than your mind? And what if jealousy isn’t something to fear, but something to understand?
In this episode, Lucy Frank is joined by modern relationship expert and certified relationship coach Ally Iseman, alongside somatic sexologist and intimacy coach Aisha Paris Smith, for a conversation about how we design a relationship that makes sense for ourselves, and in doing so re-write the stories we've inherited about love. Together, they explore how cultural conditioning and societal expectations shape our ideas of monogamy, commitment, pleasure, and connection, and ask: what becomes possible when we begin to question those assumptions?
Why do so many people feel dissatisfied in relationships without fully understanding why? Ally and Aisha unpack the emotional and physical signs that something no longer fits, from loss of desire and sexual disconnection to feelings of anxiety and withdrawal. They explore how the body often speaks before the mind catches up and the role of somatic awareness and emotional intelligence in helping us make more authentic relational choices.
What does it really mean to consciously design a relationship? The conversation explores consensual non-monogamy, relationship agreements, erotic jealousy, communication, and the difference between inherited relationship scripts and intentional partnership. Ally challenges common misconceptions about monogamy and polyamory, while Aisha shares how learning to listen to sensations and intuition can transform the way we experience intimacy. Together, they discuss why discomfort isn't something to avoid but often the very place where growth begins.
How can pleasure become a guide rather than a destination?
Examining the pleasure gap and the importance of building a relationship with yourself before expecting another person to define your worth, happiness, or fulfilment. Whether monogamous or non-monogamous, the discussion explores relationships as living, evolving conversations built on curiosity and compassion, and finding the courage to challenge the relational blueprints we've inherited.
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Lucy provides tailored psychosexual and relationship therapy, both online and in London. She also leads retreats and workshops on intimacy, desire, and navigating life changes like childlessness, infidelity, illness, and shifting relationship dynamics.
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