Why You Should Let People Help You More

We usually think generosity means helping other people. But what if accepting help is generous, too?

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why letting others help us can be a gift. We’ll look at the science of why helping makes people happier, why others enjoy doing us favors more than we expect, the four rules for asking well, and how receiving with grace creates a virtuous cycle of generosity.

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Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

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Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(07:02) The benefits of giving to others 

(14:10) Why asking for help is an act of generosity

(19:25) Rule #1: How much is too much

(21:19) Rule #2: Asking is not demanding 

(23:27) Rule #3: Don’t wreck it 

(26:46) Rule #4: Being generous requires nothing

(30:38) Q&A: Resources for aporia

(33:06) Q&A: Marrying outside your faith

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Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 

• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership 

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 

• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur

• The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/

• It’s good to do good and receive good: The impact of a ‘pay it forward’ style kindness intervention on giver and receiver well-being: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-21350-001

• Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0465008216

• Happy People Become Happier Through Kindness: A Counting Kindnesses Intervention: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1820947/

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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