Why don't I feel guilty about my affair? And why does everyone expect me to? Last week a man commented on my Substack article to tell me I'm a whore. He read one piece of my life and decided who I am. I blocked him, deleted it, and then started thinking about shame.
Shame and guilt are two different feelings. Guilt says I feel bad that I did that. Shame says I am bad. A lot of shame comes from what we think other people will think of us, and sometimes it has nothing to do with anything we did. I talk about the difference, and about why society expects anyone involved in an affair, whether you cheated, or you were the other woman or the other man, to repent and ask the world for forgiveness.
I don't feel shame. I don't feel guilt. I don't regret the relationship I was in, and I won't ask strangers to forgive me. Many of my listeners and clients have told me they feel the same way. I explain why that isn't me condoning affairs, why I love who I am on this side of it, and why I don't believe you can force yourself to feel a way you don't.
I also mention my episode with Dr. Zoe Shaw on shame and complex shame, and I'm asking men who've had an affair, and women who've been involved in one in any role, how they felt once it was over.
Podden och tillhörande omslagsbild på den här sidan tillhör
Nikki Corbett. Innehållet i podden är skapat av Nikki Corbett och inte av,
eller tillsammans med, Poddtoppen.
