Most of us were taught that the way to be close to someone is to be “easy to love”: agreeable, low-maintenance, undemanding. Actually, that’s a very good way to ensure no one really knows you, and you feel pretty lonely in your relationships.
In this one, Leona makes the case that the closeness you're craving isn't built by smoothing yourself into the most palatable version of you. It's built by revealing the unsmoothed truth — your wants, your boundaries, the fears underneath both, and sometimes just the fact that you're confused. Every awkward, vulnerable, unflattering thing you've been carefully editing out is the exact thing that lets someone actually know you. Which starts with you being able to see these things for yourself.
Specifically Leona gets into:
- Why you totally can ask (not expect) a partner to hold your boundaries for you
- Her experience with a week-long "flirtationship" with a hard off-switch
- Why telling someone what you want is a kindness to them, not a self-indulgence
- How boundaries, which seem like a buzzkill, are actually a foundation for safety AND turn-on
- What to do when you can't even name what you're feeling, except confused
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TEMPLE OF YES
https://www.eroticreclamation.com/temple-of-yes
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EPISODES THAT DEEPEN THIS TOPIC
TBK 17: When being “nice” stops working (boundaries deep dive!)https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/when-being-nice-stops-working-tbk
Erotic Reclamation Podcast:
When Intimacy is Frictiony and You’re Not Sure Why - https://open.substack.com/pub/eroticreclamation/p/when-intimacy-is-frictiony-and-youre
What is Energetic Sex? - https://open.substack.com/pub/eroticreclamation/p/what-is-energetic-sex
Foreplay and Precare - https://open.substack.com/pub/eroticreclamation/p/foreplay-and-precare
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OUR LINKS
Join our mailing list for upcoming programs here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdJPQ28Eip5h6YGhlQODPkeqvrJZeZhqpZ-XIVxZbMixb-Pxw/viewform
Thank and support us for our work by buying us a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/thebodyknows
Follow Ana on IG at https://www.instagram.com/roam.and.rise
And Leona on IG at https://www.instagram.com/leonachaseslions
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TIMESTAMPS
0:00 – A moment that made Leona go: wait, you can communicate that??
2:18 – Intimacy is built on sharing your wants and needs, not suppressing them.
6:23 – There is no way things have to be in romance. There’s what you want, what they want, and where those things overlap.
9:48 – Telling your partner your desires isn’t selfish. It sets them up for success.
11:56 – Making things off-limits is actually freeing and relaxing and titillating all at the same time. In other words, not lame.
17:25 – You don’t have to be perfect or healed or 100% clear on what you want. You just have to communicate.
20:27 – A place where you can learn and practice creating this level of intimacy: Temple of Yes Retreat in Austin, Texas (early-bird ends Aug 1, 2026)
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The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller — say the quiet parts out loud about healing, somatics, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.
We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our s**t together. We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body was never the problem. It’s been the compass all along.
✨ Subscribe for:
→ New episodes every other week
→ Embodied truth, not performance
→ A little irreverence, a lot of nervous system wisdom
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