Guilt is a natural emotional response. It can tell us when we've done something that doesn't align with our values and prompt us to repair, take responsibility and make things right.
But when guilt becomes excessive, it can become a heavy burden — creating an overwhelming sense of expectation and responsibility that isn't actually yours to carry.
In this final episode of the FOG — Fear, Obligation and Guilt — I look at what happens when guilt becomes the driving force behind your decisions.
You feel obligated to do something, and when you consider saying no, the guilt arrives before you've even made a decision.
You assume you've done something wrong.
You worry you've hurt someone.
You feel guilty for having needs, setting boundaries, disappointing someone or even thinking about saying no.
And so you give in.
Not because you want to — but because the fear of feeling guilty becomes more powerful than your own wants, needs or judgement.
If you grew up in an emotionally immature or emotionally abusive family, you may have learned to take responsibility for other people's feelings while questioning your own.
In this episode, I explore why guilt can become so powerful, how it gets tangled up with obligation and people-pleasing, and how to recognise when guilt is giving you useful information — and when it's controlling your choices.
Because feeling guilty doesn't always mean you've done something wrong.
Sometimes, it simply means you're doing something differently.
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