Why do we struggle to make habits stick, even when we genuinely want to change?
Connie Kwan believes we may be starting in the wrong place.
Connie is a former Silicon Valley product executive who worked on technology designed to help people quit smoking. What she discovered was that the people who successfully changed weren't necessarily the ones with the most willpower. They had developed a compelling story about why the change mattered to them.
In this conversation, Connie and I explore the connection between habits, identity, confidence, motivation, values, and self-leadership.
We talk about why small goals can build confidence, what to do when the people around you resist your change, why your environment matters but isn't enough, and Connie's powerful metaphor of connecting the “balloon” of a new habit to the “anchor” of something you already deeply value.
We also challenge the idea that bigger goals are always better and discuss why sustainable change often begins with something almost laughably achievable.
Connie is currently writing Story Habits, which explores this approach to lasting behavior change.
If there's something in your life you've been trying to change, this conversation may help you ask a different question.
Instead of simply asking “How do I change?”
Maybe start with: “Why does this change matter to me?”
Connect with Connie: https://conniekwan.com/
