Mirela Zoltan spent the first three years of her life in an orphanage in Romania before being adopted and taken to the United States.
What followed was a childhood marked by disrupted relationships and repeated moves through adoptive, foster and residential settings.
Mirela was frequently seen as a child with challenging behaviour. Looking back, however, she describes something much simpler underneath it: she wanted to be loved, wanted and listened to. She needed connection and a sense of belonging.
Then she met Elizabeth.
After being let down repeatedly by adults, Mirela didn’t trust Elizabeth’s promise that she would help find her biological family. She tested her, pushed her away and waited for another person to leave.
Elizabeth didn’t.
Mirela credits that relationship with changing her life. Elizabeth stood by her, believed in her, validated her feelings and eventually helped her reconnect with her biological family in Romania.
In this deeply personal conversation with Humphrey Hawksley, Mirela describes what her experiences taught her about trauma, behaviour, trust and belonging.
Danny Henderson from Care Visions joins the conversation to reflect on Mirela’s experiences through the lens of contemporary residential childcare and relational practice.
Now working within the care system herself, Mirela has a clear message for professionals supporting children and families: listen to what people are communicating, including through their behaviour. Validate their feelings. Meet them where they’re at.
Because sometimes what changes a life is profoundly simple:
someone listens, someone believes you, and someone stays.
Content note: This episode contains descriptions of childhood neglect, abuse and traumatic experiences within care settings.
Care Visions Talks is a UK podcast sharing conversations on parenting, fostering, care experience and supporting families.
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