Andy put a post up asking autism parents to name the one fear they have never said out loud. 858 people answered, and 103 of them said almost exactly the same thing. So we sat down and read them. Not the tidy ones, the ones people only admit when nobody can see their name next to it. Mourning the child you thought you were getting. Envying families who can wake up and just go somewhere. Feeling like you are managing your child rather than enjoying them. Wondering, honestly, what your life would look like if this had gone differently. And underneath nearly all of them, the same question that every one of us circles back to at three in the morning: what happens to them after I am gone. If you have ever had a thought you were ashamed of, this episode is 858 people telling you that you are not the only one who has had it. Timestamps 00:00 Cold open 00:13 Intro 00:39 The Indi app and a summer of tracking 02:25 The post that got 858 replies 03:33 The child you thought you were getting 07:12 Watching other families do the ordinary 12:38 "It's not a superpower, and I'm tired of pretending" 16:00 Neuro spicy, and who gets to pick the words 23:11 Managing, not living 26:33 What it costs the other children 30:52 The fear nobody says out loud 32:47 What happens when I die 42:42 Studio news, guests, and the fantasy league 47:13 Why we now support a Serie B team in Italy Gaz and Andy are two dads raising autistic children, talking about the bits nobody else says out loud. Link tree in bio.
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