Pre-wedding playfulness feels like pressure, How can a man be called bride?, and Processing my father’s suicide. | ACW390

Questions answered this episode:

1. I’m engaged and will be married in August 2026. My fiancé and I both have sexual pasts, but we have waited and are continuing to wait to have sex for the first time in marriage. This has been very difficult. My fiancé has gotten frustrated with my response when he is trying to be playfully sexy. I don't want to venture too far down that path as it has gotten us too close to sex in the past. However, he fears that if I'm not open to being playful now, I won't be in marriage either. Truthfully, I don't think I understand what kind of playfulness is appropriate in marriage, and I'm starting to feel pressure to live up to some fantasy when we get married.
2. I've been wrestling with one thing you said about gender and how only men can be priests. The context, from what I recall, was that only men can be priests because the priest is the groom, or is acting as Christ in the mass, who is the groom. That makes the congregation the bride. If women can't be priests because they are women, how can a man be a bride in the congregation?
3. Five years ago, my dad committed suicide. The experience left me in shock, and I still feel that shock today. At the time, I felt the need to be strong for my mom and sister, holding everything together. Now, I sense God is inviting me to revisit this wound and allow myself to grieve more deeply. However, I find it very difficult to access my emotions; I want to cry, but I can't. Recently, through learning more about TOB, I've found myself struggling to understand how to interpret what happened, especially in relation to the dignity of the body and suffering.

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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