Conflict is inevitable but arguing is optional, a conversation with marriage coach, Michelle Purta

We’ve all been there: a minor comment from your partner triggers an immediate, defensive spike in your chest, and before you know it, you're locked in a screaming match.

But what if the issue isn’t your partner's behavior, but your own dysregulated response to it?

This week on The Calm Collective, Colleen and Ashlee are joined by Michelle Purta, marriage coach and host of The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast.

Together, they pull back the curtain on how childhood programming and pride show up in our marriages today, and why trying to "win" an argument is the fastest way to lose connection.

Colleen, Ashlee, and Michelle break down:

• "What Side of the Street Can I Own?": Shifting away from blame and defensiveness by identifying your own loops and triggers in real-time.

• The PEACE Method: Michelle’s structured communication framework for choosing logic over raw emotion when things get heated.

• The Power of the Pause: Why forcing an immediate resolution usually backfires, and how to stay grounded when a conversation feels uncomfortable.

• The Hardest Apology: Ashlee gets vulnerable about her own struggle with apologizing and how different "versions" of our past selves show up in our current relationships.

Your marriage doesn't need less conflict; it needs more regulation. If you’re ready to trade the repetitive cycles of keeping score for a relationship built on true co-regulation, this episode is a must-listen.

Connect with Michell here: www.michellepurta.com/pg/confidence 

Marriage & Motherhood - How To Reconnect With Your Spouse After Kids

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