Jessica Anne Pressler, LCSW, is joined by Dr. Christine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW, an internationally recognized expert on coercive control and its impact on adult and child victims. Dr. Cocchiola earned her Doctorate in Clinical Social Work from NYU, where she was mentored by Dr. Evan Stark, and now works as a college professor, therapeutic parenting and divorce/custody coach, advocate, author, educator, and survivor. She is the creator of The Protective Parenting Program, host of Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast, author of Every Moment of Every Day, and co-author of FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld.
Jessica and Christine begin with a truth both women know personally: education does not make someone immune from an abusive or coercively controlling relationship. Christine describes research identifying common traits among victims and survivors such as conscientiousness, agreeableness, loyalty, optimism, and the instinct to fix problems, qualities that can become vulnerabilities in the hands of a highly manipulative person.
They discuss how coercive control affects children even when there is no physical violence. Children may learn to hide parts of themselves, perform for approval, monitor a parent’s moods, or gradually lose trust in a safe caregiver. Christine explains why preserving or rebuilding attachment with the protective parent is central to healing and why connection often has to come before traditional discipline or correction.
Christine also shares her own experience of slowly recognizing what had been happening inside her family, including the moment her daughter revealed that the undermining of their relationship had begun years earlier. She explains how seemingly small comments can reshape a child’s perception over time without ever sounding like an obvious attack.
The conversation also explores emotional and psychological abuse, trauma bonds, anger after prolonged subjugation, post-separation abuse, family court, repair, and the enormous emotional discipline required of a protective parent. Christine emphasizes that repair includes accountability, unconditional apologies, emotional regulation, and allowing children to experience a safe parent who remains present, accepting, authentic, and non-reactive.
Connect with Dr. Christine Cocchiola
Website:
www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com
Instagram:
@dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol
Learn more about The Protective Parenting Program, therapeutic parenting and divorce/custody coaching, professional coercive-control training, and Dr. Cocchiola’s free community for protective mothers and support resources for protective fathers.
Preorder Jessica’s Novel
Jessica’s debut novel, Traitor Within: How Her Fear of Abandonment Led Her to Abandon Herself, is available for preorder now and releases September 22.
The novel explores many of the themes at the heart of this conversation through fiction: coercive and toxic relationships, childhood protective patterns, fear of abandonment, self-abandonment, and the long process of learning to trust yourself again.
Preorder here:
https://www.jessicaannepressler.com/the-books
As a special preorder gift, readers will also receive a full year of guided Your Traitor Within journaling prompts for healing, reflection, and self-discovery.
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