Before chronic illness, I never thought I would miss walking through Target, standing in line, helping Victor drive on a long road trip, or sitting comfortably in one position for more than a few minutes.
They were ordinary parts of life—so ordinary that I barely noticed them. Some were inconvenient. Some felt like chores. But each one carried a kind of freedom I didn’t recognize until my body could no longer move through them so easily.
In this episode of The Invisible Illness Club, I’m talking about the tiny losses that quietly add up when you live with chronic illness. The spontaneous plans that now require careful calculations. The errands that become full events. The sleep that doesn’t restore you. The sadness of watching someone you love carry something you used to help carry.
These losses can sound small when we name them one at a time. But grief doesn’t measure a loss by how ordinary it appears to someone else. It remembers what that ordinary thing represented: independence, ease, participation, partnership, and choice.
I can be grateful for the life I have and still miss what my body used to do. I can appreciate the ways I’ve adapted while wishing adaptation weren’t necessary. Grief doesn’t cancel gratitude. It simply tells the truth about what mattered.
I also talk about bringing these quieter losses to God—the canceled plan, the outing cut short, the tiredness sleep didn’t fix, and the moment when nothing feels comfortable. We don’t have to rank our grief before we bring it to Him. Sometimes the most honest prayer is simply, “God, I miss my old life today. I’m grateful for what is still here, but this hurts too.”
If you’re grieving something that other people might consider small, I hope this episode reminds you that you’re allowed to name it. You aren’t being dramatic, and you aren’t failing to appreciate your life. You’re grieving something real.
In this episode
- The freedom hidden inside ordinary activities
- Why joyful experiences can still require a cost-benefit analysis
- Missing spontaneity, independence, and trust in your body
- The grief of being unable to help someone you love in the same ways
- How chronic illness can turn errands, travel, sitting, and sleep into work
- Holding gratitude and grief at the same time
- Bringing our ordinary, deeply personal losses to God
- Giving ourselves permission to miss what used to be easy
A question to carry with you
What ordinary part of your former life do you miss—and what did it represent to you?
You don’t have to minimize the answer or hurry it toward a lesson. You can simply acknowledge, “I didn’t know how much this mattered until it changed. And I miss it.”
Join the Unseen Sisterhood
If this episode resonated with you, I’d love for you to join the Unseen Sisterhood—a space where women living with chronic illness can connect, be encouraged, and remember that they aren’t walking this road alone.
Join here: https://www.theinvisibleillnessclub.com/unseen-sisterhood-newsletter
If you know someone who needs this conversation, consider sharing the episode with them.
