Content warning: Tammie briefly mentions suicidal ideation in this episode. We also discuss instances of violent behaviour stemming from dysregulation and overwhelm.
Tammie is a School Can't mum raising an autistic son in rural Victoria. When mainstream school stopped working for her son, there were no alternative schools, no specialist programs, no hybrid options within reach. The choice was mainstream or nothing, and for years, she kept choosing mainstream because no one ever told her she didn't have to.
This episode is her account of those years: the Groundhog Day mornings with no sleep behind them, the evacuated classrooms, the Child Protection call she received because her son wasn't attending school, the moment she turned up after an hour and a half of trying to get him there and found his aide wasn't in that day. And the realisation that eventually came: "I thought I was failing him by not sending him to school. I realised I was failing him by sending him."
Eighteen months after pulling him out, Tammie describes a completely different kid. He sleeps. He's regulated. He's happy. He recently told her he'd like "some friends I can touch." Eight months of gaming and sleeping and complete decompression came first. And she now sees that as the best thing she could have done for both of them.
Tammie is also honest about what's still hard: the social piece is genuinely unsolved, and rural isolation makes it harder. But she's clear on her priorities. Mental health first. Everything else after.
Her message to parents still in the thick of it is direct: take them out for a term, six months, a year — you can always go back. Almost certainly, you'll see a change. And ask yourself honestly whether your child is actually learning anything in the state they're in.
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The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...
