2 Kinds of Caregiver Regret, and How to Move Forward From Both. "We did our best" is the phrase pet parents hear more than almost any other after a loss. But what happens when the honest answer is more complicated than that? In this episode, Karen Wylie, EdD and Gail Pope respond to a listener's comment that named something they'd never fully put into words — and it changes how they think about regret going forward.
A listener named Wendy left a comment on Episode 21 (their original episode on regret) describing a specific kind of guilt: seeing a known sign of illness, minimizing it, and not going to the vet — even when the eventual decision turned out to be the right one. Karen and Gail realized Episode 21 had only ever covered one kind of regret. So in this episode, they name two:
- Decision regret — looking back at a choice you made and second-guessing it, even though you made the best call you could with the information you had
- Noticing regret — seeing a possible warning sign and choosing not to act on it, which is a harder kind of regret to forgive because it isn't about not knowing, it's about not following through
Karen and Gail get personal here. Karen shares the story of nearly missing the signs of her dog Chey's partial cruciate ligament tear, and a decades-old memory of trusting her gut with a Birman cat's mysterious eye symptom. Gail opens up about the very present, very raw decision she's navigating right now with her cat Maisie — kidney failure, subcutaneous fluids that terrify her, and the daily argument she has with herself about whether she's doing enough.
This episode won't tell you there's an easy way to silence that voice. But it will help you name what you're carrying, understand where it comes from, and start finding your way back to self-compassion — whether your regret is about a decision you made, or a sign you noticed and let go.💜
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📌About the Hosts:
💜 Karen Wylie, EdD is the Executive Director of the Animal Hospice Group and Co-Founder of BrightHaven Caregiver Academy. With decades of experience as an educator, caregiver, and organizational consultant, Karen has personally navigated the caregiving journey with cats, dogs, and horses through chronic illness and end-of-life transitions. Her mission is to give pet parents the tools, knowledge, and confidence to provide the best possible care for their animals at every stage of life. Learn more at BrightPathForPets.com
💜 Gail Pope is the Founder and President of BrightHaven, a nonprofit animal sanctuary, hospice, and educational center with over thirty years of experience providing holistic care to senior and special needs animals. Internationally recognized for her pioneering work in animal hospice and natural passing, Gail has personally cared for hundreds of animals through chronic illness, disability, and the dying process. Her work integrates holistic healing, complementary therapies, and deep respect for the natural process of dying. Learn more at BrightHaven.org
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Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes and not a substitute for professional advice. We are not veterinarians. While we do not provide medical diagnoses or treatments, we are experienced holistic caregivers. Our support focuses on helping you assess the situation, understand your options, and find clarity and calm in the middle of distress.
