Most of us treat impression management as vanity, something shallow people do to look good. RJ Starr's essay, The Psychology of Impression Management, argues it is something else entirely: the ongoing labor of keeping a self coherent and legible in the presence of others. This episode traces why that work drains you even when nothing goes wrong, how self-awareness becomes self-monitoring the moment you are seen, why being alone reduces identity load rather than adding to it, and the difference between expression and performance as orientations toward the same material. The exhaustion after a good evening is not a dislike of people. It is fatigue from continuous identity regulation.
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