Your brain is a liar. A confident, relentless, very convincing liar. And for a lot of us, the negative self talk is not a passing bad mood. It is a whole greatest hits album playing on repeat in the car, at two in the morning, in the middle of a meeting that is going completely fine.

This episode is about all of it. The failure spiral. The replacement fear. The not-loved-enough loop. The low hum of never quite feeling good enough at your job, as a mom, as a partner, as a human. I dig into where negative self talk actually comes from, why it hits so much harder for some of us (there is a name for that, and it is connected to ADHD), and the embarrassingly simple CBT method that actually helps when the spiral starts. Fair warning: this episode will not tell you to just think positive. It will tell you the truth instead.

 

💬 Why You'll Love This Episode:

  • The reason some of us feel rejection and failure so intensely, it is not a character flaw, it is how your brain is wired
  • Why negative self talk goes physical, and why the heavy, sick, weighted feeling is not dramatic, it is cortisol
  • The Evidence of Good method: what it is, how it works, and why fighting confident lies requires actual data
  • The one question to ask yourself when the replacement fear kicks in, before you spiral for three hours over a calendar invite

Research Links

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and ADHD

  • ADDitude Magazine: additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd
  • Understood.org: understood.org/en/articles/adhd-and-coping-with-rejection
  • Cleveland Clinic: my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24099-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-rsd

 Physical Effects of Negative Self Talk

  • University of Southern Queensland on RSD and emotional dysphoria: unisq.edu.au/news/2025/07/the-conversation-sensitive-dysphoria

 CBT and Managing the Spiral

  • Neurodivergent Insights on managing RSD: neurodivergentinsights.com/how-to-deal-with-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria
  • LA Concierge Psychologist on RSD coping: laconciergepsychologist.com/blog/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd

Let’s keep growing together!

 ✨ Follow along and say hi on Instagram: @jamiecoleco
🌱 Want more support, tools, and resources? Start here: jamiecole.co

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