What if being childfree by choice and being a stepmom aren't mutually exclusive?
In this episode, Emily Paulsen sits down with Kerry Cook, a woman who embraced the childfree path and is married to a man who has a child. Kerry shares her journey from never planning to be childfree to having an epiphany moment when she asked herself: what if the answer was just no? She opens up about the resentment she felt watching her stepson get free love from his dad, feeling like the backup dancer in family dynamics, and not recognizing herself in her wedding photos. Kerry also shares the plot twist of reaching out to her stepson's biological mom one-on-one, which became a genuine friendship that changed everything.
They discuss jealousy as a compass, the importance of having safe people to crash out with, listening to your nervous system when living in internal conflict makes you sick, and why Kerry created a Childfree Collective that grew from 4-5 women to 19-20 strong. This episode is a reminder that you can be childfree by choice and love someone who already has kids.
Key Takeaways:
The epiphany moment: Kerry realized there was this constant moving target she never wanted to achieve.
Feeling like the backup dancer: Stepmoms seek validation from people who are safe to them.
The plot twist of friendship: Kerry's relationship with her stepson's biological mom became an authentic friendship.
Listen to your nervous system: Living in internal conflict makes you sick.
Community changes everything: Find your people who you can cut loose with.
We're bringing the podcast into the real world with our first ever in-person event! An evening of curiosity and conversation hosted in downtown Chicago, February 19th, 2026. Picture an intimate dinner party stacked with speakers, all guests from some of your favorite episodes, and space to make new childfree friends. Seats are limited so you can read all the details and get your ticket by visiting curiouslifeofachildfreewoman.com/2026-event.
Host Emily Paulsen is an accomplished entrepreneur and happily childfree woman shining a light on the childfree-by-choice perspective. Whether interviewing experts or positioning leaders to scale through her Brand Studio, Electric Collab, Emily's power lies in allowing people to feel seen and celebrated for who they are.
Learn more about Emily at: www.curiouslifeofachildfreewoman.com
Connect on Instagram: @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman
Guest Kerry Cook has journeyed through and leaned into embracing childfree life and defining what that freedom means. She’s done this while figuring out how to navigate the intricacies of “step mom” life and building a girl tribe of fellow childfree women through the launch of her “Women’s Childfree Collective”. Enjoy a vulnerable and unfiltered take on step-momming and the power of community!
Connect with Kerry: kerry@childfreecollective.com
