What if the legal divorce is over—but the emotional relationship is still running the show?
In this episode, Sol sits down with relationship coach, therapist, author, and Save the Marriage podcast host Dr. Lee Baucom to explore why high-conflict dynamics often continue long after a marriage ends. Together, they unpack the hidden emotional systems that keep co-parents stuck in the same painful patterns and explain how lasting change can begin with just one person choosing to respond differently.
You’ll learn why reacting to your co-parent often reinforces conflict, how to reclaim your sense of agency even in difficult legal battles, what an “emotional divorce” really means, and why letting go of the need to control your ex can create a healthier future for both you and your children.
Whether you’re navigating a high-conflict co-parenting relationship or simply want to build healthier relationships going forward, this conversation offers practical insights and hope.
Learn more about Dr. Lee Baucom: http://SaveTheMarriage.com
Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/PB-SEy2dadY
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Keywords
High-conflict co-parenting, emotional divorce, family systems, co-parent communication, conflict resolution, emotional regulation, relationship dynamics, divorce recovery, family court, forgiveness, trust, parenting after divorce, personal responsibility, child wellbeing
Highlights
- Why divorce doesn’t end the relationship when you share children.
- The difference between reacting emotionally and responding from your values.
- How one parent can change the co-parenting dynamic—even if the other doesn’t.
- The three things you can actually control in a high-conflict relationship.
- Why trying to control your ex often keeps conflict alive.
- Understanding “emotional divorce” and why it matters.
- How resentment and disconnection fuel ongoing conflict.
- The difference between forgiveness, trust, apology, and reconciliation.
- What children need most during and after divorce.
- Practical ways to reduce regret and parent with integrity.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
01:00 Meet Dr. Lee Baucom
04:45 Why Conflict Continues After Divorce
08:25 Responding vs. Reacting
12:10 Breaking People-Pleasing and Conflict Cycles
13:40 The Three Things You Can Control
15:34 BestInterest AI Co-Parenting App
15:58 Regaining Agency During High-Conflict Divorce
21:00 Family Systems and Emotional Patterns
28:35 Olive Branches, Forgiveness, and Moving Forward
31:00 Rebuilding Trust After Divorce
33:10 Helping Children Through Divorce
37:25 What Emotionally Healthy Co-Parents Do Differently
38:50 What Is an Emotional Divorce?
40:55 Final Advice for Parents Navigating Divorce
42:30 Where to Find Dr. Lee Baucom
What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond
