Stella Harris, renowned kink and sex educator, joins Jon, aka HiThereCatsuit, for a wide-ranging conversation about kink, sexuality, history, education, and the ongoing journey toward authentic self-expression.
Stella talks about her own discovery of kink, her early experiences with BDSM, and why authenticity isn't a destination but an ongoing process. We explore her mental model of kink as an orientation and a spectrum, rather than simply a collection of activities.
The conversation takes a deep dive into the damsel archetype — its history, its appearance in media, and the fascinating distinction between wanting to be captured and actually needing rescue. Stella examines how these images have evolved alongside our cultural understanding of sexuality and desire.
We also explore the underground history of kink before the internet, the impact of media and censorship, and the ways kink education has changed as communities have become more visible.
And since we're celebrating Kinktober, we make sure to talk about something that can sometimes get lost in serious conversations about kink: joy, silliness, and play. Stella shares why embracing those qualities can help people connect more authentically with themselves and their partners.
This is a conversation about history, identity, education, community, fantasy, and finding the freedom to enjoy the things that make us who we are.
Topics include:
The damsel archetype and its cultural history
Personal journeys into kink
Kink as an orientation
Authenticity and ongoing self-discovery
Kink and rope education
The underground history of BDSM
Media and censorship
Community and acceptance
Kinktober
Silliness, joy, and authenticity
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Link to Article Discussed on the show
