76: Reclaiming the Divorced Body Part 2: Training Your Body to Feel Safe Again

Quinn unpacks how the nervous system asks one question all day—Am I safe?—and why fight/flight/freeze/fawn are wise survival patterns (not personal failures). You’ll learn fast, gentle regulation tools (physiological sigh, orienting, butterfly hug, vagal “voo”/humming), see them in action via pop-culture and literature examples, and leave with a 7-day plan to widen your window of tolerance. The aim: move from bracing for impact to breathing easier—then building a calmer, safer life you actually enjoy living in.

What You’ll Learn

• Embodiment = biology: Your body is a home to be tended, not a problem to fix (Hillary McBride).
• Survival patterns are smart: Fight/flight/freeze/fawn kept you safe; now we teach your body new safety.
• Complete the stress cycle: Don’t power through—release (Levine): breathe, shake, sigh, settle.
• Co-regulation matters: Calm spreads person-to-person (think Ted Lasso).

Fast Practices (Try Today)

1. Physiological sigh (20–30s): Inhale → tiny top-up inhale → long slow exhale (2–3x).
2. Orienting (30–60s): Turn head, name 5 things you see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste.
3. Butterfly hug (60s): Cross arms, alternate taps L/R while breathing slowly.
4. Vagal “voo” or hum (45s): Inhale, long chest-vibrating “voo” (or hum) 2–3x.

Pop Culture & Lit Mirrors

• Inside Out 2: Anxiety tries to control everything → name it, breathe, integrate (not exile).
• Ted Lasso: Panic softens via breath + safe people (co-regulation).
• The Bear: Unfinished cycles = alarms (tight jaw, shallow breath); the body keeps score.
• Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God: Janie’s embodied “yes/no” as sovereignty.
• Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese”: “Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”

Mini Playbook for Divorced Life

• Text from ex detonates: 1 physiological sigh + orient; reply later from safety.
• First date freeze: Bathroom → butterfly hug 60s → decide from regulation.
• Co-parenting flare: Hand to heart + “voo” twice → This is my boundary. 
• Lonely Saturday: 5-minute sensory walk → call a safe friend/pet time.

7-Day Nervous System Plan

• Morning (1 min): Physiological sigh ×3 or butterfly hug.
• Mid-day (30s): Orienting—name 5 things you see.
• Evening (2 min): Gentle shake-out + humming/“voo.”
• Connection (3 min): Text/call a safe friend or sit quietly with a pet.
• Boundary rep (one line): “I’ll need to think about that and get back to you.”

Quotable

• “Our bodies are not problems to be solved; they are homes to be tended.” — Hillary McBride
• “Trauma isn’t in the event, it’s in the nervous system.” — inspired by Peter Levine
• “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” — Mary Oliver

Resources Mentioned

• Hillary McBride — The Wisdom of Your Body
• Peter Levine — Waking the Tiger (Somatic Experiencing)
• Deirdre Fay — Becoming Safely Embodied

Content Note

Mentions of religious conditioning, sexual coercion, panic/anxiety. Please go at the pace of safety and pause anytime.

Call to Action

If this helped you exhale, share it with a sister who needs a calmer nervous system and a softer Saturday night. Rate + review + subscribe so you won’t miss Part 3: Reclaiming Touch, Pleasure & Boundaries.

 Questions or resources? Email Quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
 

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com