#135: How to Raise Kids Who Can Solve Their Own Problems

Get 20% off any STSI course with code LRL20 — become a systems thinker today!

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University answer a practical question from a listener: how do we help kids run the Love Reality Loop for themselves?

They explore how adults can move from solving conflict for kids to coaching kids through the process of testing their own mental models against reality. The conversation breaks down how children can learn to pause, regulate emotions, separate thoughts from feelings, ask better questions, observe what is actually happening, and become more curious about whether their story matches reality.

Derek and Laura also connect the Love Reality Loop to science, feedback, emotional regulation, adaptive thinking, and everyday life. They explain why kids do not just need adults to adjudicate reality for them—they need repeated practice learning how to notice when their thinking is out of sync and how to bring it back into alignment.

If you work with kids, parent kids, teach kids, or simply want to become better at testing your own assumptions, this episode offers a systems thinking framework for developing self-awareness, emotional regulation, and reality-based thinking from the earliest stages of life.