What separates the people who get stronger after a rejection from the people who stay stuck on it?
In this episode of Supra Insider, Marc Baselga and Ben Erez drop the guest format for a one-on-one conversation, with Marc interviewing Ben about a piece he started writing on vacation. The trigger was an email from someone who prepared hard, didn’t get the role, and said it was impossible not to take it personally. Ben explains why that reaction revealed the real subject was resilience, what he notices when debriefing candidates who bounce back versus those who don’t, and why he tells people to transcribe their interviews rather than trust their memories.
They explore the four ingredients Ben believes actually cultivate resilience, the one situation where sending a hiring manager more than a thank-you note can swing a decision, and the step-by-step protocol he runs when something falls apart, drawn from three layoffs, a long run of rejections before his Facebook offer, and a torn ACL.
If you’re coming off a rejection and trying to make sense of it, preparing for interviews and looking for a better way to debrief yourself, or just curious how two operators think about setbacks, this episode is for you.
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In this episode, we covered the following topics:
* (03:08) The email that sparked the episode: a candidate who couldn’t help taking a rejection personally
* (08:50) Why how someone reacts to rejection tells Ben so much about their resilience
* (10:03) What resilient job seekers do differently: a learning loop and getting better at calling their shots
* (13:20) Ben’s definition: bounce back, recover, and adapt positively when faced with adversity
* (14:58) Marc on the “irrational optimists” who brush off rejection but never actually adapt
* (20:08) Why you shouldn’t trust your memory of an interview, and the case for transcribing
* (22:31) What AI catches in a transcript, from conversational arc to defensive language, and what it misses
* (27:12) Why people are bad at judging their own interviews, and what a light post-interview protocol looks like
* (28:31) The exception: a candidate who sent proof of work after a live working session and swung the decision
* (36:15) Why not to schedule full onsites with two companies in the same week
* (43:48) The four ingredients: abundance, growth, experimentation, and high agency, Marc’s addition to the framework
* (53:52) Ben’s own record: three layoffs, a long run of rejections before Facebook, and a torn ACL
* (56:55) The protocol starts with acceptance, and why rational acceptance comes before emotional acceptance
* (1:07:58) Why you can’t move forward without an honest story, with a detour through therapy and PTSD
* (1:28:32) Trying on decisions before making them, and how this podcast came out of one
* And more!
Links:
* Ben’s post about how he handles rejection:
https://benerez.substack.com/p/how-i-handle-setbacks-and-coach-resilience
* Tim Urban on Life’s Paths: https://x.com/waitbutwhy/status/1367871165319049221
* Marc: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcbaselga/
* Ben: https://www.linkedin.com/in/benerez/
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