In December of 2021, Sawyer was halfway through their final year of college in a world that was still reeling from the pandemic. Home for the holidays, Sawyer got the heartbreaking news that their older brother, Jason, had died by suicide - a before-and-after moment that continues to reverberate today.
Sawyer shares their nuanced perspective on grief, delving into how mental health, incarceration, and other systemic barriers impacted Jason's life and death. We also explore how the phrase, "It's not your fault," while well-intentioned, can leave little space for those who are grieving to truly reckon with both guilt and regret.
We discuss:
Jason's artistry, love of cars, and enduring pride in Sawyer's academic accomplishments
Navigating grief while finishing college and graduating
The intersection of grief and institutional failures, including incarceration, a lack of stable housing, and inadequate mental health support
How peer support - both formal and informal - gave Sawyer space to reckon with both grief and guilt
The power of logistical support to help those who are grieving
If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. You can call 988, the National Crisis Line, or text HELLO to 741-741. Other resources include: The Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth (1-866-488-7386) and BlackLine (1-800-604-5841).
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