Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays discuss why “shoulds” make life miserable—especially amid renewed horror and validation that many systems are corrupt—and argue for resigning from them. Lisa shares a skiing misadventure with her son David that highlights ignoring intuition, safety concerns, and the parenting programming that says kids must finish what they start; they emphasize teaching children to trust their bodies and quit when needed. Paula explains, drawing on Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle, that every “should” is a story arguing with reality and blocks joy, intuition, and love. Lisa critiques therapy “rules” that privilege endless processing, outsource agency, and fixate on “why,” and they connect shoulds to privilege, revolutionary refusal, and being stingy with apologies unless real harm occurred.
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