Why does ADHD so often stay hidden in girls until puberty, and how can parents tell whether it’s “just hormones” or something more?
Why does ADHD so often go unrecognised in girls until adolescence, why can puberty make previously manageable difficulties harder to navigate, and how can parents tell whether it’s “just hormones” or something more?
In the first two-guest episode of All Aboard ADHD, Claire is joined by Dr Sally Cubbin, Consultant Psychiatrist and Founding Member of the UK Adult ADHD Network, alongside Gillian Johnson Shakespeare, Author, Illustrator and ADHD Coach, co-authors of the newly published Women and ADHD book. Together they explore how adolescence shapes girls’ sense of identity, their friendships, their changing bodies and the expectations they absorb about who they’re supposed to be.
They discuss:
🔍 Why girls get missed: a picture built around boys, and the MOPP cluster of masking, overcompensating, perfectionism and people-pleasing As Sally puts it, “the absence of an obvious problem or an obvious difference doesn’t mean there’s an absence of ADHD.”
🌊 What puberty changes: oestrogen and dopamine, irregular cycles, disrupted sleep and developing at a different pace from friends
🏠 Fine at school, falling apart at home: why girls can appear to be coping at school but fall apart as soon as they get home
🎭 The cost of masking: how years of trying to fit in can affect identity and self-esteem leaving you feeling “invisible to oneself”
👭 Friendships, fitting in and rejection sensitivity: why finding friends you can be yourself with matters so much
⚠️ Shame and hidden risks: internalised criticism, greater vulnerability around boundaries, alcohol and disordered eating, and why assessments must consider the whole person.
💡 Diagnosis as a turning point: relief, sometimes grief, and finally an explanation.
🤝 How parents can help: keep scaffolding, swap “why isn’t the homework done” for curiosity, choose your moments to talk (such as long car journeys), co-regulate, and permission to “cope ugly”.
Puberty can be a challenging time for any girl, but for girls with ADHD, it can bring additional difficulties that aren't always easy to recognise or understand.
This conversation explores what parents can look out for, and how we can better support our daughters through these important years, with curiosity rather than judgement.
Further resources & links
The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.
