Send us Fan Mail
Congruence & Co-Regulation in Play Therapy: How Nervous System Attunement Heals Kids
What does it really mean to use "therapeutic use of self" in the playroom? In this podcast episode, we go beyond the buzzwords to explore how congruence and co-regulation actually help children build their own capacity for emotion regulation.
This is part three in our series on the nervous system in play therapy — and why oversimplifying this concept can get in the way of the deep, lasting healing our clients need.
In this podcast episode, we cover:
🔹 Congruence in the Playroom — What it really means to match your internal experience with what you express, and why "performing" calm or warmth isn't the same as being a regulated, authentic presence
🔹 The Coregulation Connection — How your nervous system state becomes the mechanism through which children learn their own emotions are safe, workable, and useful
🔹 Self-Awareness for Therapists — Why you have to be congruent with yourself before you can be congruent with a child, and how "resonance circuits" let your nervous system attune to theirs
🔹 Supporting Parents & Caregivers — Creating safety for caregivers so they see you as a true partner in their child's healing, and recognizing what activates your own insecurity or imposter syndrome in session
🔹 Therapist Self-Care — The "put your own oxygen mask on first" principle, and why your own therapy and a supportive play therapy community aren't optional extras — they're part of doing this work well
Ray, D. C., Jayne, K. M., & Stulmaker, H. L. (2014). A way of being in the playroom: Experience-expression congruence model (EECM). International Journal of Play Therapy, 23(1), 18–30.
Johnston, T. E., Gross, J. J., Chen, W., McEvoy, P., Becerra, R., & Preece, D. A. (2025). Emotion beliefs and emotion regulation strategy use. Personality and Individual Differences, 240, 113066.
#PlayTherapy #TherapistSelfCare #NervousSystemRegulation #Coregulation #ChildTherapy #EmotionRegulation #TherapeuticUseOfSelf #TraumaInformedCare #PlayTherapist #ChildDevelopment
Join my free Facebook Community Play and Expressive Arts Therapy Playground.
Check out my free resources for mental health professionals working with children, adolescents, and families who want to integrate play therapy and expressive arts into their clinical work.
I work with individuals and agencies to develop successful strategies and meet the treatment needs of your child and adolescent clients and their families using play therapy & expressive arts.
Contact me to schedule a free 30-minute video call if you're ready to level up your skills
