The Bible is full of miracles, wisdom, redemption…and a frankly alarming amount of poop. This week, we’re digging into the stories Sunday school conveniently skipped: a sword swallowed by a man’s belly, a plague of possibly divine hemorrhoids, golden replicas of those hemorrhoids, and a prophet negotiating with God over exactly whose poop he has to cook with. If your version of Christianity requires the Bible to be polished, dignified, and suitable for a Hobby Lobby sign, we have some deeply unfortunate news for you. God put the weird crap in there—we’re just unhinged enough to talk about it.

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